Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Luey,
Happy birthday to you,
Alia, I have recently made the greatest discovery in human history, and I have done it for you.
For the last several years, I have been working on a scientific model of the mind and, finally, all pieces are fitting together. It is a total blast. My model really explains everything: how learning takes place, how ideas are generated, how does reasoning come about?, how does our sense of consciousness emerge? Why do we sometimes feel happy and some other times unhappy? Crucially, mine is a scientific model; that is, it follows the scientific method and therefore makes testable predictions based on how the investigated system is hypothesized to work: First hypothesize some causes and reasons for the data (the data-generating model, in statistical learning terms), then build a model implementing said hypotheses, and put them to the test. If the predictions are not confirmed, correct the model by redefining the hypothesised underlying reasons and run the test once again. Conversely, if the predictions are consistently confirmed, then the model must be into something. The exciting news are that, as much as it is always impossible to prove the correctness of any scientific theory, all the pieces fit together. In fact, since my model is based on the Theory of Evolution and my only assumption, the only driving force, is Nature's survival-of-the-fittest law, my model's correctness is given by Evolution's convergence in the global optimum.
Indeed, the critical breakthrough was to consider that the brain can be seen as the government of the organism: In the same way that the government of a society determines the policies the nation should take in order for the society to flourish, the brain processes external and internal information in order to elaborate plans of actions, for the achievement of the organism's goals. Then, with this parallelism in mind, in order to understand how the mind works, we just need to ask: How does our collective consciousness emerge and how do the nation's policies get generated from the competition and cooperation among millions of humans, each looking after his or her own interests?
For instance, how did the U.S. collective consciousness emerge? It stands to reason to say that the U.S. national identity came into being the moment the people of the 13 colonies started feeling of themselves as members of a united, independent political entity. In fact, for that sake - for all intends and purposes - it would suffice if, regardless of what were each person's feelings, everybody worked for the advancement of the new nation. Indeed, if all the members work for the advancement of the whole - for all intends and purposes - there is an awareness of such coherent and cohesive whole. If that is the case, we can then apply the same principle to explain the emergence of a sense of self-consciousness in the brain: if all neurons consistently work together for the advancement of the whole organism, - for all intends and purposes - there is an awareness of said organism.
Now, admittedly, this does not explain conscious thought. Indeed, conscious thought is the train of thoughts we experience when we reason something out, and it involves something more than being aware of oneself. Rather, our reasonings' train of thoughts are the reasons we elaborate upon, as we make up our mind on what course of action to follow, in order to achieve a certain goal. For instance, let us consider what mental processes should have taken place when prehistoric humans found out how to make bread. It is certainly hard to believe that our nice, lofty bread came fully formed; but some brain power must have been involved before humans started using yeast to make bread. However, it just does not make any sense to think that some genius could have ever devise that, by adding yeast to the flour-and-water mixture, some air bubbles would form, thus causing the dough to rise. Rather, it certainly seems more realistic a scenario, where one day the bread somehow came out nice and lofty. The key question then became what caused, what was the reason why this time the end result was so fantastic: "was it because there was more flour or more water in the mixture? perhaps, this time the oven temperature was higher or lower? Could it have been that the dough was left for a longer or shorter time in the oven?..." Given that our nice and lofty bread had been so wonderful, it was only reasonable that all efforts were made to replicate the fantastic outcome, trying out, one by one, all sort of hypotheses, until it was finally discovered that, as it turned out, stupid Homer Simpson had left the wet flour to mold in the sun! Eureka!! Who could have guessed it? We did not need any magical intelligent-agent light bulb to go off after all. Brainless Homer Simpson was able to accomplish the exact same feat, by simply methodically putting, one by one, all sort of hypotheses to the test. In other words, reasoning - the most prodigious of human intellectual abilities - does not require any magic, but can be produced by simply applying a scheme along the lines of the scientific method, and, as the quoted text above shows, our conscious thought is nothing more than the reflection projected by the execution of such a process. You are going to love reading it. It is going to blow your mind! You can find it at: http://www.howthebrainworks.org.
Yet, as fascinating as it is to understand how our train of thoughts and sense of consciousness emerge, what is most relevant of this model is that it shows why hierarchical human societies developed so much inequality and eventually become so grotesquely dysfunctional. Probably the most important finding is that human beings generally follow the guidance of those stronger, more knowledgeable or - all in all - more powerful individuals, who we feel care for us. It only makes sense: if he or she loves you and wants the best for you, it is only smart to learn from those more knowledgeable relatives and friends, and follow their advice. The importance of this basic principle simply cannot be overstated, as it is the source of all problems as inequality grows: The danger is that it will not be long before those at the top of the society will (consciously or unconsciously) learn, that they only have to express some love, in order to get their social lessers to do as they say. Have you noticed how these days people is constantly saying how much they love and care for you? Indeed, the System falls apart the moment Mass-Media falls in the hands of the wealthiest in the society. Then, unavoidably, we will all follow the guidance and embrace the views and beliefs of the wealthy elite. The big magnates should not be expected to pay taxes, so that they can create more wealth for the nation; the courts systematically rule in favor of those litigants wealthy enough to hire a powerful attorney; the offsprings of the most wealthy families enjoy a decided advantage to join the leading schools, etc.. They have taught us to call it "Democracy"; hence, we worship and love it to bits. As they like to say, our so-called Democracy is not perfect; but is better than nothing. Yet, is a lie better than no response at all? Indeed, is a fake better than no fake at all? Clearly, the "not perfect, but better than nothing" mantra is most absolutely idiotic; yet, the entire society has fallen hook, line and sinker for it. Fact of the matter is, as inequality grew, human beings stopped thinking for themselves and we limit ourselves to reproducing the message the wealthy elite produces. As my scientific model of the mind shows, the way the mind works, inequality feeds itself and, as it grows, the functioning of the society gets ever worse. It is therefore critical that we break the evil fake-Democracy spell. We just need to come to terms with the fact, that the monster they have taught us to call Democracy is nothing but fake.
That was the reason why I set out working on my scientific model of the mind, and I have all done it for you. It all started because I wanted to tell the story of our love. Our story shows how evil the System is, what the System does to those, who choose happiness over money. We live in a really horrific society, where money is all what matters and a person's worth is strictly determined by the amount of money he or she owns. That is why I hope you will want to help. Whether I like it or not, human beings, men and women, care far more for women than for men. Thus, if you and me tell the story, it is going to be far more powerful than if it is me alone. We were both victims and we should tell the story together.
There is no reason to deny what happened. Ours is the most beautiful love story ever. In fact, our success is what broke us apart. I have come to realize it was rather inevitable. There is a reason why you always thought our love was doomed. Everybody around us could not help to feel jealous seeing us so happy. Wether we like it or not, it is part of human nature. When we arrived to Namibia, we were on top of the world. Do you remember how happy we were in Etosha NP?: "Wake up baby, go see rhinos!; wake up baby, go see rhinos!"
There was clearly a reason why asshole Gary set out to conquer you: he, like many other people, could not stand seeing us so happy, doing the things he had always wished to have the courage to do. Blowing us up was his very own way to convince himself, that he was not any bit less than us, and, if he had never accomplish what we had, it was simply because he had better ideas and things to do. You were a fool to fall for it and I was too proud of myself, that - as much as I could see what he was scheming - I did not lift a finger to stop him. As much as I could see, that you were constantly talking about him and providing all sorts of signs that you were totally infatuated with him, I refuse to come to grips with how serious the situation was becoming. Fact of the matter was he knew what buttons to push and all what was special about him was, that he was asshole enough not to have any qualms to hurt other people very deeply, if that is what it takes to feed his macho ego.
I have come to believe, however, it was bound to happen, and, if it had not been Gary, it would have been someone else. Fact of the matter was success had got the better part of us. We had come to think we were invincible and, thus, stopped taking precautions. But how could anybody have blamed us for feeling so awesome about ourselves, if we had accomplish so much? Regrettably, it was a matter of time before some asshole would want to take advantage of our vulnerability and so appease his insecurities and satisfy his envy, by breaking us apart.
Probably more difficult to comprehend is why were we so totally incapable of handling the crisis. After all the difficulties we had overcome, all what we had accomplished, given how well we were doing, it would have only made sense, if we had just turned the page on all what occured in Cape Town and had focused instead all our efforts in trying to go back to where we had been not that long ago. I will always hate that I allowed myself to be influenced by what everybody was telling me. Everybody kept insisting I should accept that - for whatever reasons - you had just stopped loving me and I should therefore completely forget about you, since you were clearly not worth the effort (your friends did not say the last part, but it was implicit in their words). It only seemed reasonable to think they were just sharing their best advice, since they cared for me; but, in reality, they only wanted me to fulfilled their own desires. Whether I like it or not, fact of the matter is - not unlike in 2010 Robyn and Daniel had hated learning we were going to marry - most people deep inside had celebrated the news of our marriage's demise, and they really did not like at all the idea that we could reconcile. The theory according to which you had magically stopped loving me just did not make a whole lot of sense to me, though. I just could not help thinking there had been a reason, and it all seemed said reason had been Gary. Now, given that Gary had been fake and had erased himself from the picture, there was no good reason, why we could not try to put the pieces back together. However, no one other than me referred to Gary, and so I ended up giving myself to the narrative, whereby you had somehow stopped loving me and I should just accept it. Regrettably, it was not until early 2018, shortly after returning from my second trip to South Africa, that I found the love letter you had written in February 2016 to Gary, and by that time it was already too late: matters had basically reached a point of no return. If that had not been lamentable enough, only a couple of years ago Dim told me, that in early 2017 you had wrote him worried about my state of affairs in Cape Town. If only I had known back then, that you were worried about me, things had been completely different...
“DIM
I don't know what Javier has told you. If you have even spoken. Things between us fell apart in africa. We both played our parts in the failure of the relationship. You have been friends with him a long time. Believing him and hating me would only seem fair.
This is not about allegiance or which of us did what. I am writing because I have been contacted by some close old friends of Javier's here in America who are very concerned about him. they received an email from a person whom knows Javier in South Africa. It seems he has been evicted from the place he was staying, is not doing well, and is experiencing some trouble.
I have written Maria and Cristina, but I was told by Javier's friend that they have been contacted and say he is okay. Apparently he says he is okay to them, but this may not be the case.
If he is not telling the truth and does need help, I don't know what anybody can do if he won't accept help.
No matter how you feel about me, I know you care for him and I was wondering if you might check in with him. He won't reply to me. He wouldn't even reply to his old friend in California.
It IS very dangerous in South Africa. Cape Town is super dangerous.
I do hope you are alright. I was always very fond of you. Sorry if you feel betrayed by me.
Best wishes Dim.
Alia”
Well, perhaps, it is after all not that difficult to understand, why we could not handle the crisis any better: the whole matter was for, both of us, so awfully traumatic, that it was already enough of an achievement to make it through, to even worry about something else. What they did to us is very sad. We were happy, as happy as anybody could be; but we were destroyed. Clearly, the people around us could not stand to see us so happy. Alia, we were both, you and me, victims of their envy and jealousy. However, there is no good reason why we should abandon ourselves to the melancholy of inevitability. You just need to forgive yourself; we were both victims of the evil in this society. We can only argue who of the two had it worse, who paid a higher price. I never really cared much about the thing with Gary; I just did not find acceptable that the table was turned against me and, all of a sudden, all the blame was on me. As I mentioned before, I wanted to tell our story to the world. I have put it on http://www.whenamanlovesawoman.org, and there you can see how do I feel about everything. It is a hymn to you;; you will love it. As you will be able to tell, I have always understood all what happened. Do you remember how fiercely you fought for me? I have never forgotten, and that is why I have never stopped believing in you.
Luey, what we accomplished together is just fantastic! We were happy, as happy as anybody can be. Do you remember all the magical moments we shared and all the adventures we live together?: cooking that sexy Spanish-tortilla breakfast on our very first morning; celebrating crashing my bike against a truck on my way out of Missoula, because it had given me the excuse I had been desperately seeking to be able to see you again; learning about the adventures of Hazel and his rabbit friends, as you read Watership Down for us; Your beautiful, happy face on our wedding; waving you goodby in Seattle; sitting on the beach making sand castles during our belated honeymoon in the Mayan Riviera; holding for dear life to the back of a truck, as we hitch-hiked our way down the mountains of Oaxaca towards Puerto Escondido; celebrating outside that library in Barcelona Immigration's approval of our marriage registration; playing Monkey and Bunny from Spain to Norway and from Turkey back to Spain; screaming out the windows They Might Be Giant's Dr. Worm and hundreds of other likewise ridiculous songs, along the roads of the whole European continent and beyond; watching the most beautiful sunset in Santorini; playing peekaboo in the caves of Cappadocia, teaching the newly hatched chicks how to drink water; tobogganing down the snowed hills of Rock Creek; You weeping inconsolably at the end of Roberto Benigni's "Life is beautiful". feeling the sweet, late-afternoon breeze brushing our hairs, as we crossed the River Congo on the shakiest of all barges; You rising in Etosha National Park cheerfully singing" "Wake up baby, go see rhinos!, wake up baby, go see rhinos!"...
Alia, ours is definitely the most beautiful love story ever: "Our love is heard in the stories we tell and the laughs we share. Our love is imprinted in every photo we have taken together. Our love is witnessed in the sacrifices we have taken to be together." As you continued telling to Kirschman (our marriage registration's immigration officer) our love confronted formidable obstacles from the very beginning, but we never stopped fighting. As you mentioned when you wrote me in the summer of 2010 to set the record straight on your dreams, together we can accomplish much more than either of us alone. Alia, now we can make of this a better world.
Alia, I am starting an ideological (non-violent) revolution, and I know I am going to come out on top and ultimately triumph, because, as my scientific model of the mind shows, my ideology - a true democracy - is the fittest. My rationale is as simple as powerful: If the brain evolved into a true democracy of neurons, where the behavior of every neuron is truly aimed at the advancement of the organism, it is because that is the optimal design. Consequently, we can be sure, that, after all is said and done, the social organization that will ultimately come out on top will take the shape of a true democracy, where the wellbeing of the entire society is front and center; that is, a society offering a fair opportunity to succeed to everyone, in that the degree to which each individual will flourish is determined exclusively, by the degree to which his or her actions contribute to the society's wellbeing. In order to build a better world, we only need to tell the world all what this evil fake-Democracy System did to us. I am going to make it with or without you; but it will be so much more wonderful, if you would want to help. If you do not wish to do it for me, I hope you will want to do it for the world.
The person who has always loved you the most
Fri, Jul 23, 2010, 2:20 AM
to me
I have so many dreams for us, and I don't know if you share those dreams. But, if you don't, it doesn't matter. I know we will work things out. Besides, I'm pretty sure we have some similar dreams.
I keep thinking about that day when you told me I needed to set aside time to travel with you. I can think of no other request as idiotic as that. I want to hold you on high mountain tops. Scream your name with you nearby me. I want to travel by boat down a river, with you sitting near. I want to stumble through the jungle with you close by.
I imagine us living far away from where either of us is used to. Making homes temporarily, waiting for the day to move on. I see us exploring the world like no other duo could. We can find out more about this world together than either could have alone.
I desire the day when we are finally ready to settle in a permanent place. To raise beautiful and intelligent children. To find careers that allow us time to live and play. I know we will make beautiful children. I know we can give them a healthy start. I will never doubt our power together. We are strong. Invincible.
I may be an idealist, but who can blame me when I've found something so close to ideal, I couldn't dream of anything but. You make me happier than I could have ever imagined. Sometimes I still worry. Recently, I've been worrying again that there is something hidden about you. Something that will rear its nasty head, and turn me into a shell of a woman.
I feel at this time, and know it will always be, that I would be utterly destroyed if you hurt me. I love you because you are a dream, a fantastic illusion come true. I remember you once telling me of how Jose hurt Maria over so many years. How you would not do the same to your own wife. I ask you now, understanding you already agree, to always remember your mother. To always remember what an intelligent woman deserves.
I realize that I am preaching to the choir, but I worry with us being so far apart. I have not forgotten you, not for a moment. I just want to reassure you I dedicated my life to one man, and that man is you.
I give my embrace, my kiss, my home, my children, to you Javier. Most of all, I give you honesty and respect.
If you return the favor, I will never let you down. I will work to make us as happy as possible.
I promise this.
The woman who would do anything for you,
Your wife,
Mrs. Alia Day
If you know anything about what it means to have someone so important in your life that you will risk everything to be with them, then maybe you can understand my dilemma.
Our love is heard in the stories we tell and the laughs we share. Our love is imprinted in every photo we have taken together. Our love is witnessed in the sacrifices we have taken to be together.
I made many difficult choices so I could be with the man I love.
My marriage was difficult before it even began. I endured intense scrutiny from my family. They all selfishly wanted me to fulfill their own desires.
When I told my parents I was getting married, both of them began a dialogue of, "She HAS to..." They were convinced that my marriage was ruining my life. Every dream I ever had was being demolished. They never considered that dreams change, or that I could still accomplish my dreams. They had forgotten that my dreams were my own. They had selfishly taken on my dreams, and didn't want to let them go. They expected me to fulfill their dreams.
Robyn Floren (Affidavit for Immigration 2011): "Within a year Alia began to establish the future she envisioned for herself and determined the path in which she planned to make these dreams a reality. Her plan to graduate with a Bachelor of Science in Forestry was to be complemented with entering the Peace Corps with the possibility of continuing her education after the Peace Corps to achieve a master's degree."
This continued on my wedding day. My mother attempted to make every decision. She even told me that the wedding wasn't for me, it was for her. She was again trying to use me to accomplish her own dreams, and this hurt me.
My parents were suspicious of my husband. My father verbally assaulted him on our wedding day, by asking him questions in attempt to expose him as an awful person. My mother did the same thing just a week later, by telling him that she would not accept her grandchildren being born outside of the US, and even asking if he was going to put a veil on me.
Robyn Floren (Affidavit 2011): "In the event of Javier and my daughter not returning to the United States, the possibility of my grandchildren being born on the other side of the world would cause hardships on my daughter and our family. The financial and time constraints in my life would not allow for me to be there with my daughter when my grandchildren are born. Not being with her to offer support and help, as well as the personal hardship this would place on me, would change the family ideals my daughter was raised with. Alia would be left to begin life as a new mother without the family and friends she would need for support and for sharing the joyous event of raising children together."
My parents went crazy when I got married, and while this may be understandable to some point, the lack of restraint they used is not.
My wedding day was a very happy day for me. When I look at the photos, I remember how happy I was. But, I also see my parents, and it makes me sad that they couldn't enjoy my happiness.
My husband had to leave very soon after we were married, and I was left alone in Montana. I can remember the day I left him in Seattle. We sat on the curb outside my friends house, not knowing how long it would be until we saw each other again. I could barely stand it as I watched him in the rearview mirror of my car as I drove away. I struggled the next eight hours to make it back to Montana, where I finally broke down and cried.
The next months were lonely, but we were still hopeful that something would work out with immigration. I worked for the Forest Service, trying hard to keep going without my husband. Near the end of the summer, I finally could not stand it any more, and had to leave the country to see him. I spent one week in Cancun, Mexico with my husband. Sitting on the beach, making sand castles, cooking food in hostels. This was our honeymoon.
Going to Cancun made it even harder for me when I got back. Having a taste of what it was like; remembering the feeling of being with that one person that meant more to me than anything. I had a hard time those next couple weeks. School had started, and I was working on my last year of forestry studies. But, I couldn't focus, and I wasn't able to get my work done efficiently. All I could do was think about being with my husband.
I was in a bind. I couldn't stand being away from my husband, but I couldn't imagine withdrawing from school. But, eventually, it became too much, and I made the very difficult decision of leaving my studies. Once again, I was under intense scrutiny from my family. My father was the worst, and I still have nightmares about the way he spoke to me. I was an utter failure to him, and he treated me like I had just commited the worst crime ever. Again, this was because I was not fulfilling his dreams. It was not his decision, and he hurt me very badly. I barely spoke to him before I left the country for good."
It's not easy to live in a world that you can't adequately interact with, and my husband understood that. He did all he could to inform me of what people were saying, and to include me, but he could only do so much. I appreciate everything my husband has done, but unfortunately he couldn't always help.
From the beginning, my marriage was stressful and troubling. But, this was not because of the relationship itself. My husband and I are tight.
Javier and I are both simple people. We don't watch TV, we are both very stingy with money, and we enjoy the simplicities in life. We love to cook together. Cooking together is how we fell in love. We also love to dance, and while I am the better dancer, I would say that neither of us is very good at it. We are often laughing and joking, and we really like to tease each other. We are very happy people.
I was enamored with him immediately. He is funny, charming, helpful, and completely harmless. I thought he was a little strange, and that is one of the things I grew to love so much about him.
I love my husband, and I can tell you, that he loves me too. This man has comforted me through all the stress of being away from home, in an unfamiliar setting, without the ability to communicate. We share stories of our travels, but we also share dreams for our future. We are in this together.
I will do anything to prove that my marriage is bonafide and true. I know you have told me not to come back to Montana for the interview, but I'll tell you now, that if it will make a difference for me to come and demonstrate the validity of my marriage, I will still come back."
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